You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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