I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
too bad you live with your parents still
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
