no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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