is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
