i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
