I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
