Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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