Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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