thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
