Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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