areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
