It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
