Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
