i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
