why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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