yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
