i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
