drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Acid is not a monday night drug
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
