butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
farters have to be the big spoon...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
