the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
