I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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