So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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