"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
