is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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