so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We need to rekindle our bromance
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Drunk is not a location!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
