so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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