Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
