Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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