i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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