I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize