We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
