would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
