i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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