My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
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I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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