i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
