evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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