clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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