i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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