real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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