it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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