She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
