remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
