Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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