I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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