Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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