Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
