i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
