Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
