'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
