does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
