I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
