I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
