Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
