you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
