Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
and you fell through a lawn chair
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
