My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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