You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
how does that bad decision feel?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
