Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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