There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
