We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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