Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine