her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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