i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
