there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
