I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
