I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
