babies were throwing up all over the place
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
