is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
